Selene Moon Goddess

Rachael and I had been through a lot together in the short time we had known each other, and neither of us had had easy lives prior to meeting, and having had some pretty bleak moments I was so glad I stuck it out, as I and meeting Rachael was the reward for effort that made it all worthwhile. I could never have imagined what the future had in store. A lifetime of memories were made in the three and a half years the Chick Family were together. For Rach this was the first time that home meant 'love and respect'. Whenever she would arrive home, she was greeted by a Chick Bibby excited to see her mamma, the inscrutable Minxamena and me, the Chick Boy, who was always happy to the Chick Girl.  

Back to the Quacks

Doctor CC

Hopeful that we had stumbled upon a promising diagnosis, we engaged a psychiatrist who specialised in the treatment of personality disorders. Rachael and I went to the first appointment together where she once again told the Doctor about her history and that we thought she may have BPD, to which the doctor responded “I'll do the diagnosing here”

"If someone did actually diagnose anything at all, that really would have been something"

That's all we needed to hear, and really we should have got up and walked out then and there. This smug condescension wouldn't be so bothersome if they were smug in the face of their own genius and getting results, I would be delighted and the first to kiss their proverbials. But they weren't, they were just being tedious aggravating buffoons.

I attended the first three visits with Rachael, and it was upon attending the fourth visit on her own that doctor inquired as to why I had attended previous visits, as she thought Rachael was strong enough to do this alone. Strong enough, is that why she ended up on the Bolte Bridge? The real question that needed to be answered was; why was doctor threatened by my presence? 

I attended the next session, as I was keen to hear what treatment strategy doctor had decided upon for Rachael? Was is Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, Cognitive Analytic Therapy or perhaps Mentalisation-Based Therapy or a combination of all three.

It was obvious that she had put much thought into this as she suggested to Rachael that should buy herself a self-help CD, no specifics, just a self-help CD.

I just said to her, "you made of point of letting us know that diagnosis was your job, which you are still yet to do, while the treatment strategy you offer is basically DYI, and you claim to have expertise in treating personality disorders? There was no point in continuing, so we just saw ourselves out. I did write a letter to management who thought it unnecessary to respond. 

"On four separate occasions "so called" professionals had failed to do their job to an acceptable standard. There is no understating the very real trauma that this causes, something that is commonplace from my experience and something doctors would be rarely held accountable for. I was not the patient, and I was overcome by anxiety, it would have been easier if I learnt Dialectical Behavioural Therapy myself, it would have saved a lot of stress and heartache."

Finally a ray of hope

Amidst all the frustration, stupidity and despair we had endured, finally, there was a ray of hope, as Rachael’s medication had kicked in and broke her depression. It was too good to be true, she was feeling much better and eager to get back to nursing ASAP.

That day lives vivid in my memory forever, as Rachael gave me a big hug and said, “I don’t know where I would be without you, you have done more for me in three years than all the doctors I have seen in the last ten”, and as she spoke those words I knew I could die a happy man, as I had lived a life worthwhile.

Back to work

Rachael’s improvement was steady and sustained, and although we still had to engage another doctor, we could now take a little extra time and make sure we found someone capable.

Rachael had many years of experience Nursing and had no problem finding work. She applied at a nursing agency and made herself available three nights a week. I thought three nights was plenty to start, and when she told me how much she made for three nights, it was like wow, why would you do anymore?

"I wrote this to tease Rach about dating site losers, I hate dating sites."

Love for sale Play

Rachael’s work was very important to her, not only for the satisfaction she derived from caring for others, but as a source of positive reinforcement for her fragile ego, and so it was vital to her that she performed her job well each night. I would help her to get ready for work each evening and then drive her in, making sure she arrived in plenty of time so she was calm as possible and ready to go.

The next morning I would pick her up with Mischka and soon enough Rach would emerge from work with a giant breakfast bacon roll for me that I could never eat, and I would then inquire about night and she would fill me about the patients, dramas, emergencies and the lack of doctors at night in private hospitals, as there were none. We’d then take Mischka walkies and afterwards head off home, and a well earned sleep for my darling girl.